Crave (Talon Security #1) Read online

  Being a famous rock star had never really been my dream, I’d realized. Now I had the opportunity for my songs to be heard by millions. This, this was my dream, new and reclaimed after months of discovery.

  “You’ve got everything registered?” she asked as she bent to pick up her guitar, her red curls falling in delicate disarray around her face.

  I appreciated her looking out for me. I’d learned a hell of a lot about songwriter rights in the last several months. I’d found myself a music publisher I trusted to ensure that when my songs were played, I got paid, if that day ever came.

  “I’m all set.” I smiled. “When are you recording?” I asked, looking around the cozy-feeling recording studio, where a few men stood behind the mixing boards at the ready.

  “Probably tomorrow.” She grinned, her blue eyes shining. “I can’t thank you enough. You have such amazing ability, Sam. I hope you don’t mind, but I recommended you to a few other artists.”

  I looked at her with wide, excited eyes. “No, I definitely don’t mind. Thank you!”

  “I should be thanking you,” she replied before glancing at the time. “Aren’t you late? You said you were meeting up with your brother.”

  I grimaced. “Shit, you’re right. At least he’s used to it.” I got up and swept my purse up over my shoulder. “Let me know how the recording goes.” I grinned as she stood up to hug me.

  “I will. Talk to you soon.”

  I nodded, offered a wave to the studio guys, and headed out into the sunshine. For the first time in months, I felt a genuine smile light up my face.

  ****

  “I’m here!” I called as I swept into the Talon security offices.

  Nestled in the heart of the city of industry, Talon headquarters was more of a compound surrounded by barbed wire.

  I’d promised I’d meet Travis for lunch an hour ago.

  I had a small issue with punctuality. Add in my penchant for losing my balance, frequently rambling on without a point, and my ability to lose anything that wasn’t nailed down, I was often a lot to take.

  It was a good thing I was so lovable.

  I had a coffee the size of my head in one hand, my giant purse balanced precariously on one shoulder, and the Tupperware container of cookies I’d made under my other arm.

  The converted warehouse started off somewhat traditionally with a reception desk at the very front, with a large open-floor plan beyond. There was a desk for each of the guys and a closed-off conference room toward the back for when they needed privacy.

  Where it got unique was at the back of the building, where Travis had built a huge, state-of-the-art training facility. I’d only been back there a few times. The sight of the large climbing wall, punching bags, and cardio and weight-training equipment made me nervous. The fat on my ass had been running scared by the time I’d backtracked my way out of there.

  Due to the nature of their jobs, all the guys had to stay in military shape. They ate like predators and trained like beasts.

  Travis rolled his eyes at me good-naturedly. “Ten bucks says you don’t make it the next five steps without dropping something. And it better not be the cookies.”

  I flipped him the bird and in doing so nearly spilled my coffee.

  He laughed, shaking his head at my antics. “You’re late.”

  “I know, sorry.” I apologized. “I got distracted.” I dropped the Tupperware on the nearest desk.

  His brow rose as a slow grin spread across his face. “With…?”

  He was teasing me as usual.

  Travis was type A through and through. He was driven, meticulous, and impeccably neat. In short, everything I wasn’t. Despite our differences and the occasional dustup over how protective he could be, we’d always been close.

  “With life.” I shrugged, looking over at their receptionist, Sarah, and offering her a smile in greeting. I turned back to my brother, giving him a big hug. “Glad you’re back safe,” I murmured in his ear, squeezing before letting go. He’d been overseas six weeks. Sid had been gone twice that long and I bit my tongue, forcing myself not to ask about him.

  Sid had been surprisingly angry by my decision to move out, and had been assigned overseas shortly thereafter. We hadn’t spoken in months. I missed him like hell.

  “Do I get one of those?” a loud jovial voice boomed from the back of the office. Theo, one of my brother’s partners and another former SEAL, came striding out with a grin on his handsome face.

  “A cookie?” I asked coyly.

  “A hug,” he replied with a playful glint in his eye.

  Theo had always flirted with me, but it was all in good fun. The man only had eyes for Sarah—he just didn’t know it yet.

  “Afraid you’re getting a gut? Have a fucking cookie, dude,” Travis grumbled.

  Theo patted his ripped stomach thoughtfully. “I think I’m okay in that department,” he mused, grabbing me in a one-armed hug. “Pink, huh?” He continued, tugging on a strand of my hair.

  As a natural blonde, I liked to keep things interesting and often died the tips of my shoulder-length hair different colors.

  I shrugged. “For this week.”

  “Looks good.” He nodded, giving me a final friendly squeeze before stepping away.

  “All right, all right—let’s go,” Travis ordered, losing patience with Theo’s flirting. It was a wonder I’d ever been able to date with Mr. Pitbull for a big brother.

  We drove to a nearby deli and found a sunny spot near the window.

  “How are you really?” he asked without preamble, his intelligent brown eyes regarding me shrewdly.

  I shrugged. “I’m fine.”

  “I don’t want you to just be fine.” He shook his head. “I want you to be happy.”

  That right there—that was the pure heart and soul of my brother.

  I clasped his hand briefly by way of answer. I couldn’t tell him I was happy, not really, and I’d never been able to lie to him. “How about you? I know you’ve been overseas for a little while, but have you met anyone?” I asked hopefully, changing the subject.

  “Christ, Sam. You sound like Ma,” he complained.

  I cocked a brow, surprised that our mother would spend the time to nag him about his love life. Conversations with her were typically all one-sided—when they happened at all.

  Our parents were still married after thirty years and had recently retired. They’d always been like lovesick teenagers. While on the one hand it was great that our parents were still so in love, it was fair to say they took it to the extreme. I knew they loved us both, but they’d always been more focused on each other. They’d been more than happy when Trav and I were old enough to head out on our own and out of their house.

  “They still traveling around the country in that RV they rented?” I asked.

  “Last I heard.” He nodded.

  I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to answer my earlier question about his love life.

  “No, I haven’t met anyone. Don’t have time for that shit,” he grumbled impatiently.

  “Trav, you worry about everyone else but yourself. At some point you need to put yourself first, you know?” I coaxed, knowing my words fell on deaf ears.

  I debated pushing him—I rarely did. After a moment, I pressed on. “You’re the toughest guy I know. But you also have the biggest heart. Don’t be afraid of that part of yourself.”

  He eyed me intently. “I could say the same to you.”

  That’s what I got for pushing him.

  “So, if you’re not gonna give me an answer about how you are, how about a brief on what you’ve been doing?” he asked, changing the subject as our sandwiches were put in front of us, complete with the huge dill pickle I loved.

  I’d long ago gotten used to being spoken to in military terms.

  “I’ve been writing a lot of music,” I told him. “Have you heard of Autumn Powers? She asked me to write a few songs for her. I think they might actually get recorded.�
� I was still marveling at the news myself.

  His eyes lit up. “That’s awesome, Sam.”

  “I’ll keep working for Zitto for the time being,” I added, referring to the catering company I’d worked at for the last several years. It was a great gig because it afforded me a lot of flexibility. Zitto, the owner, had always treated me like a family member. “Until I’m rich and famous, of course,” I teased.

  He chuckled.

  We were quiet for a few minutes as we both dug into our food.

  “You gonna ask about him?” he asked finally.

  “Is he safe?” I asked without delay.

  “Yes,” he answered firmly.

  I fought the urge to wilt with relief. “Then that’s all the information I need.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Christ, you’re as stubborn as he is.”

  “That’s not news,” I pointed out.

  He snorted. “Fair enough.”

  ****

  “I don’t like you living by yourself,” he grumbled when we’d pulled back into the Talon parking lot.

  I’d known this was coming—I was surprised he’d held off this long. With my hand on the handle of his Charger, I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine, Trav.”

  “You still got that pepper spray I gave you?”

  “Yes.” I sighed.

  “Did you take that self-defense class I sent you a link to?”

  “Trav, I’ve taken the last three you sent me. I’m good,” I assured him.

  He seemed to ponder that for a moment before nodding stiffly. “All right, then.”

  I smiled at my big brother. “I’m good. Love you, Trav.”

  “Love you, too, Sam. I’ll check in with you soon.”

  With a final wave, I headed to my car, the Accord I’d been driving since college that I prayed lasted me a few more years.

  I thought about what Trav had said, about wanting me to be happy. As I watched Talon headquarters disappear in my rearview, I couldn’t help but think of Sid with that familiar ache in my chest. The ache that had become my constant companion in the last few months. Only sporadic moments of levity had provided a welcome balm. I was determined to make the most of those moments, to cling to that happy, despite the grief threatening to pull me under.

  I’d get there, eventually.

  CHAPTER 2

  “Pink, eh?” Zitto squeezed my cheek the following evening as we worked side-by-side at an outdoor wedding in Malibu. The evening was warm and the ocean breeze made me want to sigh with each saltwater-tinged breath.

  I grinned. “You know I like to keep things interesting.”

  There were hundreds of guests and Zitto’s face was flushed as usual. “You okay?” I asked, concerned. The event space was large and Zitto was also… large. I always worried that he’d keel over on me.

  “I’m perfect, bella.” He waved a hand at me. “You look nice.”

  I looked down at the navy-blue dress I’d selected for the evening. It was formfitting, hugging my curves while still being professional. At formal events, we dressed up as well, so as to blend with the crowd. “Thanks.” I smiled, whisking a platter off to a nearby station.

  “Sam.”

  The deep, familiar voice nearly had me dropping my platter. I placed it on the table with shaking hands before turning to face him.

  Sid was breathtaking in a tailored suit. His dark hair had grown out since I’d last seen him, the black locks gorgeously mussed on his head. His piercing blue eyes stared intently down at me while I desperately tried to recover my composure.

  “Hi Sid,” I murmured, my heart pounding in my chest.

  He didn’t say anything at first. He simply stared. His gaze slid over me, lighting a fire over every piece of flesh his eyes encountered.

  “What are you doing here?” I managed.

  His eyes met mine again, the tension zapping between us like a live wire. “The groom and I served together,” he explained. “You’re working?” His chin lifted toward the platter I’d placed on the table.

  I nodded, wiping a hand over my dress absently as I stared back at him, feeling starved for the mere sight of him. He looked impossibly more handsome than the last time I’d seen him, which served to further lodge the knife in my belly that the mere sight of him provoked.

  He reached a hand toward me. “Sam, I—”

  “There you are.” A chipper blonde cut him off as she slid her perfectly manicured hand into his.

  I felt that knife drive a little deeper. Time hadn’t helped soothe the burn, if anything it had grown stronger.

  I knew I didn’t mask it, the ache. I’d been practiced at it when we’d lived together. Now, after our time apart, I knew it showed on my face and I was eager to make a speedy exit.

  “Good to see you. Have a nice evening.” I swallowed hard, giving a jerky nod and making a beeline for the nearest exit point. In my haste, my toe caught on the sod, sending me into a free fall.

  Familiar calloused hands caught me as they had so many times before. He pulled me close, my breath catching as my hands palmed his firm chest.

  For a moment, it was as though time stood still. The conversation around us grew hushed, the pounding of the surf on the rocks below becoming a muted orchestra as we stared at each other.

  A throat cleared indelicately behind us.

  My face flamed as I pushed back from his chest, righting myself again. “Thanks. I never was good in heels.”

  He offered a halfhearted smile as his eyes scorched down into mine. “Or in flats.”

  “Or in flats,” I agreed, pushing back from him again, eager to break the contact and yet never wanting to let him go. “Take care.”

  His gaze burned into my back as I scuttled away, feeling that familiar scorching pain that never seemed to heal.

  I avoided him and his gorgeous date for the rest of the night. Zitto found me as we were packing the vans up. “Bella, do an old man a favor, eh?” he asked, huffing a breath at having to catch up with me.

  I looked at him expectantly. “Sure.”

  “I have a birthday present for Camille—can you keep it with you for a week or two? That sneaky wife of mine will scour the house for it.” He grinned.

  They’d been married twenty-five years and I envied how much they still seemed to love each other.

  I laughed. “Sure, just put it in my car.”

  He clapped his hands together. “Grazie, bella. Hey, are you okay? I saw you talking to that young man and your face… I’ve never seen that expression on you before,” he commented.

  Pain? Loss? Torment? He could have seen any of those.

  I patted his arm. “Just an old friend. I’m exhausted. I’m going to finish packing this van up and head out, okay?”

  “Sounds good,” he agreed, looking at me skeptically.

  “I’m fine,” I assured him with the most carefree smile I could muster.

  He waved a hand in the air. “All right, all right. I’ll stop meddling. If Camille were here, you’d be in big trouble.” Something flashed in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. It almost looked like guilt. I was too tired to press him.

  I laughed instead. “Don’t I know it!”

  By the time I got home, I was so exhausted and distracted by thoughts of Sid that I barely made it up the steps to my apartment, much less remembered to bring Camille’s gift in from my car.

  For once, my forgetful nature turned out to be my saving grace.

  CHAPTER 3

  I woke up slowly the next morning and stared at the cracked ceiling above my bed. I’d never been much of a morning person, and being able to take my time waking up was a luxury I took advantage of whenever I could.

  My phone chirped with a text and I reached for it, staring at the words blearily.

  Drinks tonight?

  Caden’s text made me smile. We still saw each other all the time, whether it was to have drinks, or dinner at his place. He’d moved in with Danika shortly after I’d moved out. She and I had become good f
riends. I was thrilled for both of them.

  Sounds good. 9, Mottos?

  Yep, see ya.

  I set my phone down and with a grumble, forced myself up and out of bed. I walked through my small apartment toward the kitchen. My brother would have a conniption if he saw where I was living, just barely on the wrong side of Melrose, but I liked it. Sure, the neighborhood wasn’t the best, and my place was small, but I’d managed to keep it clean—most days, anyway—and my neighbors were friendly.

  I spent most of the day spread out on the floor of my living room, writing. I felt all the more driven after my meeting with Autumn. There was something beautiful and freeing to think that someone might take my words and make them their own—that they’d put a unique voice to the story I’d written into song.

  I got ready that night with music blaring, missing Piper as I swayed my hips in front of the mirror. We’d often gotten ready together, picking out each other’s clothes and dancing around the house as the boys grumbled about how long we took, smiling at our antics.

  I chose my high-waisted, skinny black jeans and a cropped tank top that showed a hint of midriff. It was sexy without being slutty. I paired it with my black ankle boots and a chunky necklace.

  With my petite figure, my voluptuous backside was that much more pronounced, but I’d learned to embrace it over the years.

  My shoulder-length blonde hair still had the pink tips, and I created some messy waves. I swept black eyeliner on to accentuate my green eyes and a pink gloss to complete the look. I snapped a picture and sent a text to Piper.

  Approve?

  I was headed out the door when she responded.

  Smokin!

  I grinned, making a mental note to call my best friend. Though we texted daily, we were overdue for a longer catch up.

  Motto’s was already busy as I walked in, scanning for Caden. I found him and Danika at the bar, grinning like lovesick fools at each other.

  “Hi guys.” I grinned, accepting a hug from Danika. With long black hair and blue eyes, she was a striking woman.

  Caden had played the field for years, taking full advantage of his good looks and status as a musician and tattoo artist. The combination seemed to make women turn to mush. My thoughts turned to Sid with a wince; the military-musician combination had seemed even more powerful while it lasted. Not that his appeal had diminished since the band had broken up.